Monday, October 31, 2005

Its Melbourne Cup Day Tomorrow, You go Makybe Diva, You are a Champion



The Melbourne CupOctober 31, 2005
... Under the whip! with the ears flat backUnder the whip! though the sinews crack,No sign of the base white feather:Stick to it now for your breeding's sake,Stick to it now though your hearts should break,While the yells and roars make the grand-stand shake,They come down the straight together ...


A Dream of the Melbourne Cup by Banjo Paterson





The DIVA, Awsome someone backed him for $100000000 today, hell just like that a $100000000
Stopping a nation ... Makybe Diva back in the stables after a weekend ride at Mornington.







This years contenders

OhhhhhhhHell They are gonna be lunch if the jackets come off!! Surrogate Mum


A day relaxing down at Karen and Jay at Surfers Paradise







A great day had by all, only thing wrong, we did not have the time to go out on the jet ski, will have to be down earlier next time that is for sure












Going Fishing, don't leave me home.


Now this is very impressive Jays monotor, I was trying to figure out how I could somehow sneak it out of the house under his nose, and back home.

I thought my new 19 inc was a blast. Well at least now I can read the screen.






The highest residential building in Australia in the background. It was struck 8 times by lightning, in an extremely bad storm that we had last week.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Suelen at City Hall

Suelen has moved into the city with some friends from school, she is sharing untill she goes home, we will miss her but she will have some great experiences, and she will spend lots of money before she goes home to Brazille for her sisters graduation.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

A day exploring Mt Tamborine


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Laure and her class at Moreton, Fraser, and Stradbroke Islands the weekend.



Laura is my new student staying with me, from Switzerland. We are certainly International now, We are Aussie, Korean, Brazilian, and Swiss

Monday, October 10, 2005

Scenes from Down Under








Uniquely Australian, Beautiful I think.

Carols day at Ocean Park in Hong Kong


Carol and her friend Galaxy stayed with me, while in Australia. For a short course in English.


Went to Ocean Park on last Sunday.

I played for a whole day and I was very happy in there.
I can't remember which pic of the panda is a lady and which is a man....
I am so sorry but just forfet it.
The pandas are so lazy,a little bit same as me.
The spend about 10hours to eat and about 12hours to sleep~!!!!
I don't know how can they do that. I want to try but I know I can't.
The first pic of the panda was finding things to eat.The second one was eating.And the third one was walking cos it finished its food.~!!!!
The fur seal and the dolphin were having a show.They are really clever.
The first pic,they were giving a big hand.
The second line of the 3rd pic,it was saving that guy and doing artificial respiration. It so cute and smart.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Now this is a guessing game, Can anyone tell me what is on this crumpet?


No answers, well it is not what it looks like, I laugh every morning I see it and think ekkkkkkk, but it is amazing all international student love Nutella on everything crumpets, in Icecream, and everwhere else they can lather it. They take our Crumpets, Tim Tam Biscuits and Chile Mayo, home with them, as much as they can among other things.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

The Instigator of RebelleNation and my New found Friend on the internet from Louisianna Hurrican Katrina Ravaged Area




My Friend Christy


I have done a lot of thinking this morning, we caught up with each other this morning, like we do everyday at some time, to chat as friends and go over our thoughts on the war, which in fact bought us together maybe about 18 months ago.

Strange where life takes you, 18 months ago we did not know that each other existed, and today we talk more, than I talk to very close and dear friends, that I have had for 41 - 42 years or more, This girl from Louisianna, the South, the Bayou area of America, and the state that was devastated by Hurrican Katrina, and lost New Orleans and so much more, so many cities, such heartbreak for the people of this state. And I totally believe this loss was caused by the disinterest and criminality of the Bush Administration., This was a State and Cities of Poor Black and White people they were disposible and not important enough to be a priority of this administration of thugs and thieves, they were
expendible.

In chating with Christy at the time of this disaster, the anger the sorrow were palpable, that this could be happening in the United States of America, while the world watched on in disbelief and shock, this kind of criminality was inconceivable to me that a thing like this could happen, that an Administration could so blatently commit these crimes, on the people he was elected to serve and protect, but then when has this Administration ever to this day protected the people of America, from any disaster, that is getting away from the story.

While chatting with christy at a time when she was so beside herself for the people of her state I told her Christy write it down, tell the people, make them understand, the people who do not know what has been lost to the world, it is for you to make them understand, tell me about your New Orleans, at this time she did not think that she would be able to put down her thoughts, but as I told her you have to do it now, now while it is fresh in your mind, now while it is happening, tell the world what has been lost so carelessly, thrown aways like a peice of rubbish you can dispose of. New Orleans in Christies words!!!

Christy Cole "Nuuuw 'Awwwlins'.

Not too long ago I wrote an article entitled 'Preaching to the Chior.' in which I discussed the political abandonment of the deep south. When I wrote it I was blissfully unaware of exactly how right I was. Or how it would bring death so close in plentiful amounts.
As a resident of Louisiana I would like to tell you about what you have lost. I would like you to see it, as I saw it.


New Orleans. Or, as they say if your from here, "Nuuuw 'Awwwlins'. So famous, most think her our capital city. Baton Rouge is the capital of Louisiana, but New Orleans was our crown jewel. World wide she was known for her parties, her history, her engineering feats, her defiance of nature itself. And on top of it all was a culture unlike any place on earth. A place where history is beloved and alive.

So very, very, ALIVE.

Like most Americans I have never had a vacation, but I did find myself once in New Orleans. It changed my heart, from the first moment I saw it. The skyline in itself was not terribly distinctive but, quaint, in certain ways. Most of Louisiana is so lush the horizons are usually shortened and blunted by it. Not so there in that coastal city. But since it was under sea level you had the bizzarre feeling of having to glance upwards to find the horizon. It is actually a visual oddity you had to adjust to. You get a sense of the true power of man and nature colliding. And man winning.

The rich historical homes and streets of the Garden District were the most pleasurable sight on earth. Louisiana architecture is as unique as the rest of her and those fine homes were so beautiful I found myself day dreaming of the people that must live and work in them. I thought of the history they had witnessed. I also went into the workers districts, and houses so bright and cheerful also made me dream of those people as well in vibrant colors. I saw poetry in their anonymous, fiendly faces. Even the cemetaries are world famous and as gorgeous as you ever hope to find death.

New Orleans, a place so beautiful even the cemetaries are lovely.

Quite unexpectedly I wound up in the French Quarters at nine am on a day so clear it was a true honor to be alive. Even though Im not a drinker, and even though it was VERY early, I decided to get drunk. It took all of one strong drink at Pat O'brians. I drank my very first Long Island Ice Tea there. What a blast. The historical scenes of "Interview with a Vampire' with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, they filmed from right there in that historical building. Being giddy with whatever the hell they put in those 'Teas' I stood not just where stars like Cruise and Pitt stood, but I stood in a place where many histories had unfolded.

In all of Louisiana two very seperate histories exist... In New Orleans, those two histories actually became one. What a sight it was to behold. Carribian , French, African, English, Indian, Roman, Yankee, Dutch, German, Cajun and ALL American through and through.

I believed they called it 'The Big Easy' because it was so effortless to fall in love with her and her people.

I had my one tea bender and went wondering in the streets where a homeless man in a full kings costume, crown and all, rushed across the street and proposed marrige to me on the spot. He actually quoted Shakespere while asking. ( Alas, I declined.Although the classic verses were fantastic.) Before a spectacle could arise I went on further into the heart of New Orleans.

I passed art shops, museums, and five star resturaunts. I found voodoo shops, cathedrals, and gentle courtyards. And constantly as I walked I heard music. Jazz spilled into the streets like flowers blooming from one block to another. I found tranvestite strip clubs, and out of no where a mini parade almost ran me down. I found one of the seven death masks of Napoleon and the very same table and chair that General Hickory used when planning a final humiliation for the bloody british. So what the war was actually already over. We didn't know it.

Legend has it, Hickory used alligators for cannons when the real ones melted. A very inventive use for a reptile, I must say.

And everywhere you went, there were the people that are also like no other on earth. They are the bearers of the wieght of the two histories. And in truth, without them, it would have been just a place.

The people of New Orleans ARE the music. They ARE the history. They ARE the food, the flavor, the variety of what they built for us all. They are what is the most special about a bunch of buildings on the coast. As long as we have them, we have the soul of New Orleans living and breathing amongst us.

They are the soul of what is now a ghost.

And they were left behind to die. There is simply no other way to put it.

My nation has shamed me before. When I think of all the innocent Iraqis that died for lies, I have weeped bitter angry tears. I have stepped up and lent my voice to those screaming STOP IT STOP IT. But things have changed now. Talking has run its course. I am no longer in possession of the hope it would take to dare believe it would make a difference. Shame is overshadowed by rage. Rage like the ocean that is overcoming one of Americas most beloved cities.

I tried, I tried so hard to get peoples attention on the south politically. Many did respond, because I think people not from here have an inherent curiousity about the deep south. Many did respond in thoughtful debate and inclusion. In some cases I admit I FORCED the conversation in peoples faces. I had too. I always sensed I was running out of time.

I scolded, I taunted. I told them they had abandoned us. Some of them resented it very much. Who was a southerner to dare question the way things are or could be...? I stood in troubled shock as I heard people say the most awful things about us as a people. I saw and heard it said we were not even people, much less humans that deserved mercy. I only very recently realized why the resentment ran so deep.

It was not because we are rude or ignorant that you forgot us. It was not because we love guns, God or fat sherrifs. No it is not any of that.

You turned away from us politically because you did not want to see yourselves reflected in our eyes. You wanted to believe you were above history. Looking hard at us reflected back a hypocrisy so bright it was like the sun, and you had to turn away or be blinded by the sorrow of unfufilled promise.

Our broken dreams were your unwanted legacy. You forced yourself to belive we no longer dreamed at all.

When we invaded Iraq we gave them 'fair' elections. The yankees gave us those same 'fair' elections and the south has been a rigged game for over 100 years. You wanted to believe it was 'down there' not 'right here' affecting you. You saw it coming everytime you glanced this way. 'Down there' became someplace REMOVED from you. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.
And then God Himself unleashed the storm we have all feared. The winds of time changes everything.

I have heard some strange reasons why people think God hit Louisiana with Katrina. I personaly am afraid in my heart it is the reckoning for 100 years of voter fraud. Had the will of the people been done, those levees would have held. Those levees were an engineering marvel. The Pride of New Orleans. Literally. The people who are New Orleans would not have let their pride falter. Thier lives depended on it. Literally.

Had the will of the nation backed them up, the levees would not have been abandoned as surely as her people were. Literally left to die in the very heart of America.

In my memory New Orleans will always be a bright, shining city by the sea. A city whos people defied the ocean every damn day. This one time they lost. After all that is what happens to people abandoned, they become lost. The ones who preyed upon the vulnerabilities of those wondering the streets of New Orleans, should ATLEAST be dealt with as harshly as the looters.

Do not let them twist history. New Orleans survived Katrina. She SURVIVED that nasty bitch. It was the levees breaking that has left people living like animals and dying on the streets. Those levees were not an act of God. They were an act of man.

One million people are homeless. SOMEONE is to blame for this.

SOMEONE WILL take the blame. We will FORCE FEED IT to them if need be. This will not stand. There is only so much decent people can take. And from now on when the refugees that are overrunning my town ask me, 'Where can I go?' I am going to tell them to go sleep in the only other home I own with plenty of free space. The White House. God as my witness, one way or another, it will become a useful structure again. And you can bet your whole empire that the refugees of Katrina will not abandon it to apathy. They need it to shelter their hungry children.
Unlike current residents they would actually be GRATEFUL to be there.

Do you hear them starving in your sleep..?

Dear Mr Bush,

Where exactly were you as a seven year old girl was being raped and getting her throat cut in the awful dark recesses of the Convention Center...?

I wonder did you sleep on fine french linens that night? Were you at the White House, eating from fine antique china? Or were you still at your ranch that has virtually no cattle?

As the mothers that lost their babies from heat exhuastion, realized their child had died right beside them, in their arms, did your ears itch with thier unheard, but certain screams? What about the young adults who died of thirst, were you drinking a fine tomato juice from crystal goblets, or perhaps a soda your maid brought to you...?

What were you doing at that moment Mr. Bush...?


When young girls started floating by with bullet holes in them, and old men turned up bludgeoned to death, were you standing in a well tended courtyard..? Or, maybe you were taking pictures and sitting with Trent Lott while he cried into a three-hundred dollar handkerchief..? Or perhaps both. I suppose if you could own a courtyard it seems natural you may become overwhelmed with emotion there eventually.

Mr. Bush when women started handing thier babies to strangers, begging them to save them, did you think about Jenna and Barbara..? Maybe you thought of how far your own children were from you, and your chest ached with longing..? With need?

As the water rose and alligators started infiltrating low attics did you feel a shudder in a fine leather chair? Did any sharp sensation make you weep?

When the 5 year old was gang raped to death in that hell hole, could you see it from the window of Air Force One? What about the people with you? Did you point your web cam out that same window so Cheney could view, via the net, from Wyoming...?

Where were you EXACTLY Mr. Bush...?

Where were your much decorated Secretaries..?

When the images of the Super Dome and Convention Center kept going day, after day, after day, did you find a point where you sought out Laura to comfort you, and perhaps hold your perfectly manicured hand...? Did you ever reach a point where you vomited, as I did, (though I have no well heeled servants to pick me up and clean the mess. )

When that man murdered his sister for a bag of ice, did you regret ALL that FEMA money that had been 'mismanaged' at your brothers hurricane parties..? Or did you send some of it as a private contribution to the Red Cross. Or maybe Pat Robertsons 'Relief Fund.' Did your accountant do the appropriate tax deductions on it as somberly as the rest of your daily transactions?

When my Gov. Blanco tried to tell you two days before the hurricane she needed help, did you use a real gold pen to try and wrest control from her...? Silver maybe...? Was it the same pen you used to cut the money to our levees by 80%...? Does that pen come with a fine matching set on your highly polished desk..?

As our native sons, our finest, the Louisiana National Guard, desperately tried to find updates about the damage from Iraq, did you use one of those high tech sattalite phones to call them and calm thier jitters..? Did you smile as they told you how valiantly they had held off enemies that threaten all your friends assets...?

Did your own father flash through your mind
when you realized one of those boys could have been exactly like the one who took your place in Vietnam..?

I see you on tv offering Salvation Army goods to the women from nowhere, oh, and the fundraising speeches, and as I write this I wonder about where you are and what you are doing. I wonder are you shivering somewhere with the painful dread of upwards of 40,000 dead...?

Did the smell of human waste fill your well educated mind..?

Do the faces of those begging for food haunt you in the halls of your lush surroundings? Do you hear them starving in your sleep..? Does the presence of your body guards bring you as little comfort as FEMA provides ....???

It shouldn't, and I will tell you why...

The Constitution of the United States of America.

It is the document that lays out the reasons and proceedures that will result in your arrest, a fair trial, followed by a decent hanging.

We can even use a fine velvet rope.

But until then Mr. Bush... YOU ARE FIRED! Amen to that Christy my thoughts exactly

Christy on the 2004 election explaining to me how such a thing could ever happen, knowing that John Kerry won the election, at 7 15 pm the night of the election John Kerry was well ahead in the exit polls coming out, and then suddenly in moments everything changed, in minutes and the corruption, unless you were following as closely as Christy and I and a lot of other concerned Americans were, the election was stolen a second time in 4 years while most of America was sleeping at the wheel, not questioning, not demanding answers, not protesting when other countries where protesting thier exit polls, but you have to understand their exit polls where right as far as the Bush Administration were concerned, only Americas exit polls were wrong because they said John Kerry won the election comfortably. In Christys words

Preaching to the Choir

Excuse me, Blue State people. May I have your attention please..? Thank you.

I make it an obsessive habit to watch everything in our country lately. From down here in Louisiana, because of the 'Information Revolution,' I keep surprisingly up to date on the current clusterfuck our nation has become.

Now, normally, I don't see things in red state/blue state terms. I was taught to believe we are ALL Americans first. Period. However, there is a red/blue problem that I simply can not remain silent on anymore. It touches on EVERYTHING we hope to do.

I see all our democratic and activist leaders, all on the move. It is truly a beautiful thing. The people are waking up, and the message is trickling out, slowly but surely. Our opposition to the tyranny of the Bush family bonds us in ways that transcend blue state/red state and hold us firm against the fear. I see our leaders holding rallies in N.Y., L.A., Phoenix, and D.C.

What I do not see are rallies in Jackson, Shreveport, or Birmingham.

There may be a speech now and then, that gets heartily protested by the very loud minority, and then they are gone. Back to the blue states to preach to the choir. There is no democratic hope in the south because there are no democratic generals here fighting the republicans on their own turf. Don't get me wrong there are dems here hard at work trying desperately to spoon out the ocean. But these dems are underfunded and COMPLETELY INVISIBLE in our daily lives.

Now perhaps, you have been told that we are all morons down here that spit at outsiders and dream of the days when slaves were ours to own. Perhaps that's the image you have. But nothing could be further from the truth. By tradition the southerners are DEMOCRATS. We are only red state because the damn republicans have been rigging elections down here for more than a century. You think Ohio was ugly...? Try Louisiana EVERY election day. But, who do we tell? We are left with the corrupted leaders or telling those who will pass it on to the yankees, who then turn around and forget they once violently overthrew and occupied the very soil I am sitting above as I write this. And there were consequences.

MANY MANY consequences. All of them political. None of them easy. I wonder at times, if Martin Luther King had been from Cali would he have found it worth dying for? I doubt it.

Coming down here to make a speech and then outrun the fruit throwers on your way back to bluer borders WILL NOT WORK. You are simply overlooking the TRUE problem of the south because it is what..? Distasteful?... Tedious?... Dangerous?

And you are missing the opportunity of the ages.

The current shuck and jive campaign coming out of D.C. these days is being delivered with a southern accent. But, not eveyone who SPEAKS with an accent, THINKS with an accent. And it is WAY past time to come and engage those people in a VERY lengthy discussion. One that we can sleep on, and engage again in the morning. I have never once believed the republicans outnumber democrats down here. ONLY at the polls is this a republican stronghold, and if you believe the numbers from Florida can be skewed it's not a hard leap to see the truth about the south.

The truth is, you have abandoned us, and we need you now more than ever. We have the numbers, and the courage, and the will. But, we can not go anywhere without leaders who are willing to risk just as much as we are.

When a hero does come forth I do not know if he will be northern, or southern, black, white, red nor blue. I do NOT know if that hero that leads us to rally down here will even survive the experience. What I do know is this, WHOEVER that hero is, when they rise from the ashes of the old south, their names will live forever in the halls of heroes among men.

When that hero does come, many, including me, will give all we have to protect them. But we can not protect what we can not reach.

When the rallies that electrify the blue states are over and the choir goes home, there will STILL be a quiet sense of desperation in the deep south. As a region we are the poorest and most illiterate, even now. You could get it all back, and win the very heart and mind of the country.

But you can not take what you refuse to touch.

Christy Cole

Christy tells it like she sees it just like I like to think that I do. We chat about so much that I cannot talk about with my family and friends, thing that are so important to me at this time in my life, thing that put the fear of God into me with this rogue regime in power as Christy calls them in the White House, the so called leaders of the Free World there are so many other thing I would call them, certainly not the Leader of the Free World.

The Twin Towers 9/11 the world watched in shock, the day the Twin Towers came down nearly 3000 souls lost, we the both of us, do not believe for a moment the version that the White House has passed off as the facts of 9/11 Bush knew that a plane has gone into the first tower, and still goes into a class room and reads to the youngsters, Yeah Right please dont ever take me for a fool, like the people who do not think for themselves that even wasted a vote on you.

http://reopen911.org/index.htm

9/11 the devastation was the excuse as far as I am concerned that gave bush the excuse to go to war in Iraq, it fell right into place for him, a lot of other thoughts go throught my mind when I think of the devastation of that day. The war on Afganistan, I never agreed with here we had a country totally blown off the face of the earth with Bushes Toys his Weapons of Mass Destruction, think of it for a moment all that innocent loss of life women and children that had lived for so long with war, and the rule of the taliban, and here come this Leader of America who had never in his life accomplished anything, I mean anything his father had to pull him out of one failure after another, a man who never saw fit to serve his country when he was called, this man does not understand the meaning of the word patriotism, would send the sons and daughters of America to die for his pleasure.

Iraq the thought of Iraq angers me so much, I cannot find the words to express how I feel at times, Christy is always there , the lies, the deceptions of this administration that took America and my own Country to war are unforgivable, my only hope is that every one of those responsible for these sins, end up in the Hague and charged with war crimes, the shame of it is that it does not include the media and cable news for it lies and manipulation, because I hold them just as complicit in this war for not giving the public the truth, not that I did not understand the truth long before, I knew the truth on the night the Supreme court gave the election to this man in 2000, I told my mother we would be at war within the year and we were just after that. Christy has always put into words exactly what I feel



"But, you know, frankly, I do not think God gives a shit."

Iraqis as Terror Bait

The bush freak show has released thier new report on terrorist activity around the world. Guess what is NOT on it? That's right, apparently 'terrorist events' in Iraq and Afghanistan do not count even as they are repeatedly refferred to as the 'Front Lines of the War on Terror".

See, apparently, we are fighting them there so they,..Oh, thats right. (see London)(see New York) (See Bali) (see Spain) (see Oklahoma City)

Do you want to know what it is EXACTLY that enrages me about this explanation..? Other, than it being proved violently wrong....

My problem is this, Saddam WAS a bad guy, Saddam killed own people. And NOW, WE are killing the same people he terrified,terrorized and tortured. Well YEAH for US. Now it is US, kicking thier men to death while they are chained to the ceiling. Now it is WE, who find a way to JUSTIFY IT.

The only terrorists in Iraq before we got there was Saddam himself. The others were subjigated cowards who helped maim thier own country to save thier own skins. There WERE NO suicide bombs going off before we got there. Thier women were given more rights there than almost ANYWHERE else in the ENTIRE middle east. Ahhh, but nevermore.

The C.I.A.s' own reports say that Iraq is NOW the foremost training ground for terrorists in the world. WHY the ENTIRE world...? Well, because, in Iraq, they actually get EXPERIENCE from KILLING our soldiers. But, let us not confuse the 'terrorists' with the Iraqis.

The Iraqis themselves were NOT terrorists before and those fighting against us now are NOT terrorists either. They are PATRIOTS of Iraq who will not stand idle as we kill thier families with bombs and poision thier lands with horrifying depleted urainium. They will not care that we have a MESSAGE OF FREEDOM when we herd them into Abu Ghraib to meet thier fate at AMERICAN hands. Do you UNDERSTAND the meaning of the MEDICAL definition of 'Pulpified'...? And thats just what we do to thier bones. Imagine the state we leave thier women in. Thier children.
And after all the lies that brought us here, what have We learned?

Oh that indeed we WERE lied too, Repeatedly. Day After Day. Night After Night. They USED our deepest fears against us. They PROFITED from our fears. They PROFITED from AMERICAN DEATHS.

They = OTHER AMERICANS. The ones we trusted the most.

And instead of HANGING those who would commit TREASON against US. What do I hear?
Using Iraq as a place to bait terrorists is the ONLY way to stay safe. Too damn bad about all those IRAQIS.

Another disturbing trend is those hiding behind God in our country to justify hypocracy in politicking. You will grovel and cry oh so publicly for a brain dead woman but you wont spend a moment to find out WHY all those babies in Iraq are being born HIDIOUSLY deformed.

WHAT WILL YOU SAY TO GOD WHEN YOU FACE HIM
??? I know what I will say.

I will beg God to FORGIVE my beloved nation, for she knows not what she has done. I will beg that the oncoming waves of suicide bombings in the name of vengence can be held off long enough for mankind to find MERCY in thier hearts. I will stand with a clear concience and say 'It was NOT in MY name Lord, nor did I ever believe it was YOUR will."

But, you know, frankly, I do not think God gives a shit. AND YES, if you believe in the ONE who created the Trees, then we share the SAME God. I do not believe GOD cares about your petty excuses based on LIES and prejudice.

And to the ones who created this. To the ones who felt Iraqis are so worthless they can openly and even jubiliantly be used as bait to attract TERRORISTS while you discreetly steal thier wealth,I truely hope you burn in hell. I hope the souls STRIPPED from the children of Iraq wieghs down your descent to the Devil himself like a yoke of needles around your neck.

I pray that descent comes moments after the Hang Man pops your damn head off.
After all, THAT is how we deal with those who CREATE terrorist training grounds, isn't it?

Amen Christy girl. This site is not for pictures of the war in Iraq not my retreat the war and its outrages are to be found at our site at http://www.rebellenation.blogspot.com/ this site was instigated by christy, who asked me to join her, this site was for us a place to research and to keep a diary, of all that has transpired at this time in our lives. I am afraid what Christy explains here it exactly what I do too, we think so much alike in so many things lots of times now I know exactly how she will answer or what will be her reaction to a given thing that happens.

Mi Vida Loca

I have picked up a new hobby lately. It is one my curious mind has become obsessd with in a short period of time. It is a hobby that does indeed seem strange, but those that love me indulge me. I now spend lots of time online searching for pictures from Iraq.

The thing is, the pictures speak things no language has words for. Seeing it, and hearing it, are two truely different experiences.With every photo I learn something new about our soldiers, the habbits and lives of Iraqis, the resistance, history, and grief. So much grief. It keeps me awake at night.

It just ocurred to me today, that I seek knowledge that I do not want. Knowledge that is complex and frightening. I look at the pictures even though I feel many times that I can not. I never REALLY want to. And the whole time I am thinking, SOMEONE has to. They are hiding these images from us. Once you see them you cannot help but become sick in your very soul with grief.

As Bush speaks, as I am sure he will tommarrow, he will speak of lofty ideas like freedom, democracy, and terror. And I expect when he does I will do as I do every other time I hear him speak. I will see in my head the images of my young brave country men suffering catastrophic injury they had no armor to protect themselves against. I will see images in my head of them welding trash to thier vehicles trying to give themselves some measure of comfort anyway.

I do not want to know the things I know, but I know of no other way to conquor the fear by any measure. The more our government lies to me the more determined I am to SEE the truth. With my own eyes. As horrible as the pictures of the wounded are, it is the dead children that are simply unavoidable. Far MORE dead children than men. In seeing the actual moments of it caught on film, you can not help but ask yourself WHY they were sacrificed? But, that is EXACTLY why they are hiding them. The Culture of Life has apparently not been found in the cradle of civilization. I do not want to see thier mothers faces when I close my eyes, but I do.

If my neighbors and fellow patriots saw what American bombs did to entire families, homes, and cities, perhaps they would NOT be so eger to drop them. Because these pictures have been blacked out by the media, most Americans are under the impression OUR bombs ONLY kill terrorists, because they are SMART BOMBS.

If you saw what I have seen you would try to stop it, too. But many Amerians have turned away, I think because it disturbs thier sleep, as well. I long for such sleep. I wish there were a way to unlearn knowledge. Yet even as I wish it, I know I will still seek out the photos because I know very few others are, or can. I am trying to bear honest witness so I will not pass on the lies I have been told to my children. And in honesty, what I have seen has scarred me deeper than 5 c-sections.

As I write this, there are actions in motion that will soon bring about the release of the 'OTHER' Abu Ghraib photos. I truely do not think I can face it. But I must try, as long as I can, I only pray to God others are stronger than I am, because in the end I may turn away, too. I can only take so much horror.

Chatting with Christy yesterday, she told me that her mother thought RebelleNation was Anti America and she thought that I grouped all Americans under one Umbrella, I think even that christy might think so at times herself, I have really thought of this so often, It is a question that I have asked myself so often, from the time of the 2000 election, and when bush declared war on Iraq because I knew he would go there as sure as I breath today I knew that he would go to war in Iraq to show his father up and to plunder the wealth of Iraq, can you believe this, Sadam was a bad man but can anyone tell me that this man and his administration are any better, for me the answer is no I believe these people to be worse by far because Sadam was propped up by these very men in power now, until it suited their purpose to depose him. They supplied his weapons, and stood by while he invaded these countries, and looked the other ways while it suited them.

At first when he stole the election I have to say I did think that of all Americans, I could not understand how the people of America would stand still and allow this to happen, I felt at the time of 9/11 America had the compassion of the world with them in every way that counted, and I felt they had lost all the compassion the world felt with the illegal war and occupation of Iraq, but then I got to know so many Americans within the John Kerry blogs all fighting the same fight, to get Bush out of power and to elect some one person with dignity, that would work for the world community instead of against it, I will never forget his words You are either with us or against us, Well I say to you Jerk off fight your own battles. But in answer to Christys Mum I do not believe that I put all Americans under the same Umbrella, I feel that I am Anti Bush and Anti everyone that follows and is complicit in his war crimes, but that does not mean that I am Anti American . I think

PS girlfriend I really hope I do not class all under the same umbrella, if I have at some times given you that feeling, it is definitely not intentional, not at all, maybe I come across that way some times when the anger is so great from all the research we have done. Knowing that 90% of what we find, will not even make it to the American Public.

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